As the publisher of this periodical, I am puzzled.
Frankly I do not understand why everyone does not donate the measly $50 to get 5 emails critiqued by yours truly.
Since it is only $50 and a minor change to just one of your emails can make that back in spades.
Plus, you will be helping out people in need.
Whatever your woeful reason, up to this point, I've appealed to your self-interest, shamed you, tugged on your heartstrings, inspired you, and even bribed you in an attempt to get you to donate... So now, let me appeal to your logic:
*You will be able to brag and virtue signal to your friends on Farcebook, Twiddler, and Instaspam that you are, in fact, better than them...
*You will be telling the universe you have an abundance of money, which will only make it flow to you in greater quantity...
*It will bring a bit of meaning into your dull, dreary life...
*You will have $50 less to spend on weed, booze, pornography, t-shirts emblazoned with Gary Vee quotes, or whatever demons you use to warp your twisted mind...
*You can use it as a tax deduction...
*You will be making one Tyler McCune pickled tink by your kindness and generosity...
Now if that didn't convince you, I don't know what will.
Which is probably a good thing, because this offer ends Tonight at Midnight EST. And it will be the last you hear from me on the subject, until I decide to do something similar again.
So if you'd like to donate before the impending deadline, head here to find your local food pantry:
P.S. You can donate any amount at any time, but to get the critiques, you must donate at least $50 and send me the receipt by Tonight at Midnight EDT.
P.P.S. Thanks to the people who have donated so far. It warms this Grinch's heart to see the kind souls on this small, but engaged list.