An email is like a marriage.
It’s very important that on the first few dates, you look good, don’t have spinach in your teeth, and keep your crazy stuffed firmly in a sack.
But then once you're married and the deal is sealed?
Then it’s all farts and dirty tees and “hunny make me a sammich”.
Only with email, it’s the first few lines that are really important. And once your reader is into the body copy, they’re much more likely to finish and see the CTA — even if they skim or scan.
Which is why I belted a hearty belly laugh the other day when I saw an email with the worst opening line of all time.
Not only did this line have NOTHING to do with the reader and what the reader wanted…
But it was just plain boring too.
So if you ever catch yourself using this sort of sentence construction as your opening line…
Stop and reconsider your life decisions. Mkay?
Here’s how the offending line read:
“Today, I want to talk to you about…”
Yikes. What a dud.
I won’t even fill in the rest of the line because it doesn’t matter. Anything that comes after “I want…” in copy is bad news.
Because no one gives a rat’s petootie what YOU want.
People care what “I” want.
In fact, every time you sit down to write, you can think of that scene from Finding Nemo, where all the seagulls are yelling “MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE”.
Yeah, that’s a pretty good visual.
And, if my copywriting services make you say “MINE, MINE, MINE”... here's the tasty link: